An Ode to My Costume – Jessie Smith


Jessie Smith one of the showgirls has submitted a poem to me which almost made me fall off my chair.
I think this is a great piece of work, go Jessie! I’m sure Committee meetings will never be the same again Jessie. Those of a more sensitive nature might want to have a sit down before reading or have a shot of brandy to hand.

An Ode to My Costume

I’ve longed to be one of those elegant showgirls
Wearing necklaces of diamonds and pearls
Gliding elegantly down flights of stairs
Seeing the audience, avoiding their stares

But where is the rest of my costume?
I’m hiding in this crowded dressing room
Should I dare emerge and go outside?
I guess I’d only be damaging my pride

I’ll suck it in and count to three
But what happens when I need to pee?
It’s got masses of glitter and sparkly bits
But it fails to properly cover my tits!

This string ties here and that clip goes – where?
Make sure it’s covering… down there!
Oh my goodness what have I done?
This costume barely covers my bum!

My hair has so much spray it’s beginning to harden
But that’s nothing compared to what I’ve done to my lady garden.
Now I’m trying to ignore the whispers and sniggers
Next year I’ll hope for some really big knickers!

Yes Jessie I know the feeling and can sympathise I had a similar problem when my swimming trunks shrunk in the wash one year and I couldn’t venture beyond the confines of the spa/Jacuzzi area for fear of causing an uproar!

But enough about swimming trunks and knickers. Do any other cast members have any hidden talents you wish to tell me? Anyone else fancy a go at a poem, a limerick, or maybe a song?

Until next time folks.


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